Heartache
by Scarlet has Fantasy Issues
Summary: It's my birthday today and it's been over a year since he left. My life is ruined, but now something is different. He can't be back now, can he?


_A/N: This is a redo of the original story that was on here. I didn't like how Scarlet was in that one and neither did some other people. So, here's the new version…Enjoy!_

**Disclaimer: I still don't own X-Men or any of its characters. I do own Scarlet/Maria and Addison/Aqua, so don't steal those without asking my permission first.**

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I should never have thought that I'd be fine with Logan gone. Sure I'd been fine for the first month or so. I'd been happy with the memory of a brake light. Then came the pain again. That cold, suffocating pain that came with the knowledge that I'd never see him again.

At first I tried to ignore it and put on a happy face for all of my friends, but then I kept seeing him. Sometimes I saw him and tried to follow him, but he'd disappear before I could get close to him. And people's words and actions reminded me of Logan and tears would well up in my eyes and I'd have to leave the room so people wouldn't see me break down.

But the pain grew too much to bear over the course of a few months. I decided then that nothing was worth it anymore. I wasn't going to get any satisfaction or happiness out of it. So, I started letting my grades slide and stopped talking to my friends. I figured that they didn't need me dragging them down when they had so much happiness in their lives without me.

The teachers, of course, grew concerned about me. They tried to get me motivated again and asked me what was wrong when that didn't work. I didn't say a word to any of them. What did it matter if I said anything or not? They couldn't bring him back just because I was falling apart without him.

I guess I shouldn't have stopped caring about controlling my powers, but I stopped caring about a lot of things. There have been plenty of times where the teachers would find my furniture floating around the room and the lights would flicker. In Science, beakers would explode and burners would flare up and everyone would look at me. I would ignore their looks and continue staring at the wall.

The Professor tried to get me to talk to him about what was bothering me. I know he wanted to make sure that no accidents happened that would hurt me or any of the other kiddies in the mansion. He tried probing into my mind when I wouldn't speak to him and only got flashes of Logan's face before I could build my mental wall up against him. He made a few comments about how it appeared that Logan was my first love and how Logan's absence must be devastating for me. He assured me that over time the pain would fade and I would find someone else if Logan didn't come back.

"But when will the pain fade?" I had demanded, breaking my vow of silence for just one moment.

And for that, he had no answer.

No one had answers. My actions only brought forth questions. My sister, Addison bugged me with them for a few weeks before she gave up and asked one of the teachers if they could move me to a single room, so she could room up with someone who would actually talk to her.

All of my friends were doing that now. They weren't going to spend time with me anymore or even attempt to talk to me. I suppose it's because I wouldn't talk to them and would constantly lock myself in my room for hours at a time. It's not like you need company when you're letting yourself go.

After the sixth month, I found that getting out of bed and going to class was a painful chore. Sometimes, I wouldn't even make the effort and just stayed in bed, staring up at the ceiling all day without really seeing it. I wouldn't eat except when one of the teachers told me too and even then, I would only eat a little and could barely keep it down.

My body didn't waste away even with all the neglect. Part of having another creature inside of you with vast powers means that you can't die or hurt yourself permanently. The creature inside of me kept me in a healthy condition even when I wanted to die, but could do nothing about the pain that was crushing my heart.

I wanted to scream, but couldn't. I wanted to cry, but I was all cried out. I wanted to run away from the pain, but it would always follow me. I wanted Logan back, but couldn't have him.

My birthday came around and it was the second one that Logan would miss. I was just lying on my bed, waiting for life to leave my body, when I felt something change in the air. Students were getting excited and I had no idea why. I reached out with my mind, looking for the cause of the change.

My mind brushed against a familiar presence and my heart fluttered. Quickly, I pulled myself back in and sat up. My muscles ached in protest to the sudden movement, but I ignored them as I slid off my bed. Moments later, the bed fell to the floor with a soft thud.

"It can't be…" I whispered, walking towards the door.

The door opened for me and I stepped out into the hall where my fellow classmates were walking around, chatting with one another. Several people stopped talking when they saw me leave my room, probably wondering why I had decided to leave it when school was obviously not in session. I ignored them as I walked barefoot down the hall.

"Scarlet!" someone called and I heard running feet, but didn't look up from the carpet. "Scarlet, what are you doing out of your room? Are you feeling better?"

_**Go away Addison**_, I said telepathically. _**I don't want to talk to you right now.**_

"When do you ever want to me?" Addison demanded, crossing her arms. "I thought that since you were out of your room that you would want to talk to me. I mean, he's back and all, so your mood should have lightened up."

_**Addison, leave me alone. **_

I walked right through her and continued on my way to the stairs, letting my feet follow a familiar path from my past. Each step I took made the ache hurt just a little bit more. Each step, I now knew, brought me closer to the person who had abandoned me.

Students stared at me like I was a freak as I walked down another hall. It had always been like that. I was the freak daughter of Magneto, hater of humans. I had more power in my pinky than most had in their entire body. But my sister was the same way and people liked her. Logan was the only one besides the Professor who treated me like they treated everyone else.

_Logan…_

I hesitated when I reached the door that led into the garage. Did I really want to go in there and see if my mind wasn't playing tricks on me? Did I really want to see the man who had ruined my life?

The answer was always going to be yes.

I reached out and grabbed the door knob, turning it. I stepped into the cold garage that smelled of oil and new cars. I paused in the door way for a moment, letting my body adjust to the cold air that now enveloped me before walking further into the garage.

There were so many new vehicles in that large room and they were a rainbow of colors. The only one I had eyes for was the black one situated at the front of the garage with the man I'd missed sitting on its hood.

I stopped walking when I could feel his eyes on me. He wouldn't be able to see much of my face even if he stared long enough because I had the hood of my black hoodie pulled low over my eyes. But I could see him through the fabric and he looked exactly the same as he had over a year ago.

"Logan," I whispered, staring at him.

I wanted to do so much more than stare at him. I wanted to run over to him and throw my arms around him. I wanted to tell him how much I had missed him and how much I still love him. But I restrained myself.

"Happy birthday Maria," Logan said in a low, gentle growl.

"My name is Scarlet," I told him, feeling a flash of anger. "Not Maria. You have no right to use that name anymore Logan."

Logan nodded. "All right then, _Scarlet_."

There was that half smile on his face that I'd missed. I had seen it so many times in my dreams since he was gone, but they didn't hold a candle to the real smile. God was he making it hard for me to keep from throwing myself at him.

"I brought you a present," Logan said, holding up a small box wrapped in silver paper.

"I…don't want your presents," I said slowly, fighting to keep myself calm. "I don't want anything to do with you, Logan. You hurt me and now you expect me to forget that just because you're giving me a present?"

"I don't expect you to forget anything or forgive me right away," Logan admitted, setting the box down on the hood of the car and standing up. "I know I hurt you. Everyone here has told me that much."

"Logan, you ruined my life. You made me lose my friends and my sister. You made me stop caring about my grades and about my life. You made me feel bad for the first time since my childhood. And you took the heart that I offered you full of love and handed it back to me in so many pieces that it's impossible to fix."

Logan sighed. "I didn't mean for you to feel this way Scarlet. Not over some fool like me."

"I never thought you were a fool Logan. I thought you were the one I could finally let my guard down around. I thought you were the one I could love without the fear of being hurt because of it…but I was wrong. You hurt me worse than you would have if you had beat me senseless."

Logan reached out and touched my arm. "Maria, I never meant to hurt you this way. I expected you to go on with your life just like the others."

"I'm not like the others Logan. I'm _nothing _like the others. They may not need you to go on with their lives, but I do. True before I met you, I was just fine by myself, but now, I need you in my life to keep going." I frowned. "But maybe I shouldn't want you back in my life after everything you've put me through."

Logan reached behind my head and pulled the hood off my head. My black hair tumbled out and fell about my shoulders. I stared at him with dull eyes and he gently pulled me towards him, wrapping an arm around my waist.

"Maria, you have to understand that I didn't want to leave you the way I did," he whispered. "I didn't want to leave you at all, but I had to. You were too young…"

"Too young…" I repeated, cocking an eyebrow.

"You were sixteen when I left you, Maria. I had to wait for you to grow up some. Today, you're eighteen and so I came back for you."

I stared up at him in wonder, feeling his hot body against my freezing cold one. "Logan…"

Logan touched my face, gently caressing it. "I should have told you this a long time ago Maria. I love you."

My heart missed a beat before speeding up. I melted against him as he captured my lips with his. Sand paper over velvet, he kissed me with so much need. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him with the same need.

A minute later, he pulled away, resting his forehead against mine. Both of us were breathless and I felt like I would have fallen if Logan hadn't been holding me.

"And I should have done that a long time ago too," Logan murmured, staring me in the eyes. "I should have showed you all the love I could have a long time ago, darlin'."

"It would have made it harder for me to let you go," I muttered, blinking back tears. "You probably would have come back to find me dead and buried…"

"I should have at least told you why I had to leave. Anything to have kept you from becoming like this…"

I smiled slightly, my face muscles aching from the new action. "At least you came back. That's all that matters now."

Logan nodded. "And I'm not gonna leave again without you, darlin'."

He brushed his lips over mine again before pulling away from me. I didn't want to let him go, but I didn't want to seem too needy so I let him walk back over to the car. He scooped up the box and held it out to me. Quietly, I took it and ripped off the silver paper, opening the box.

Nestled inside the box were his dog tags. I looked up at him questioningly.

"I want you to have a piece of me with you at all times," Logan said, picking the dog tags up and sliding them around my neck.

"Logan…"

He shushed me with a finger to my lips. "Happy birthday Maria."

The box fell to the ground as I threw my arms around him and we shared another long kiss that completely ended the aching of my broken heart.

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_A/N: And so ends the redo of this story. Originally, Scarlet was super pissed at Logan and they were in the Danger Room talking. I decided that I didn't like that and after reading the only review that was given, I realized that no one liked a pissed Scarlet in this kind of story. So, I hope you all like the newer version better than the first._

_Please read and review. Your comments are most helpful. ~ Scarlet _


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